We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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