yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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