In the future we'll all be gay
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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