i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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