I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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