i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
