I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
