She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
