Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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