Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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