we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
