That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
