and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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