Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
