I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
