Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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