this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just blew my weed a kiss
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
