Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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