idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
