Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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