I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
