i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
