A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
