I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
