She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
