nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
