Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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