I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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