In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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