I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
