It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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