If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
