Dual....:-)
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
