I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I wish there were birth control emojis
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
