Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
MIDGETS
????
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
