He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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