Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
