oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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