You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
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