Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
