She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
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