I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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