NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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