At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
im holly from the hills drunk
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
