dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
