It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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