Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
My life is pants optional.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
