Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
