I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
