Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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