If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
