dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
