Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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