why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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