i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
