I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
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