I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
