mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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