So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
