So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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