Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
